7 years

 

Seven years I’ve been shouting at the moon,

Struggling from pill to pill,

trying to find some emphasis on something pure and real.

 

I’ve seen the sun from dusk to dawn,

I’ve seen the birds life and never return.

And Still I seem to try out loud

among the shadows

and the crowds.

 

Rain still pours down on winters day,

and im still struggling for a newer way.

Stoned am i with clouds of eden

Rainbows halter in the sun

And im still staring at the stairs. 

 

Truth

                     

I’d tell you the truth                         

But I think I will pass                                        

A lie is a greater way to advance.

                 

I’d fly on a bird                            

But I think I would fall                                        

A soul is too greater thing to afford.

                                         

And do you think that I’m lying                                        

And do you think that I am trying                                                    

And do you think I have nothing at all                                    

But this pure absence of form?

 

I’d swim with the fish

But I think I would drawn

People would think

I was splashing around.

 

I’d meet with the king

But he’d send me to jail

My high pitched voice

Would seem like a yell.

      

The sky is flipped over                   

All covered with dirt               

Its hard to unwind                 

When your hand          

Is your foot. 

 

Hello

                                                      

Hello – how are you ? Can you hear me today?

Its me-can you even remember my name?

You know I'm stressed and you know I can scream

but you’re just sitting there sipping you tea

 

you’re just so

underwhelming

so condescending

so selfish and so mean

you’re a lil screwed up

and a lil bit dumb

you’re just too you for me

                                                        

hello what's new? Cant you see me no more?                                                              

Its me ! Have you even forgotten the score?

You know I'm tired and you know I cant bare

that you’re just sitting there starring at air

 

why don't you leave now

why don't you go

why don't

you take your things

and just go home.

 

Raining 

 

I’m not sure if its raining today.

My coffee isn’t ready and I’m so damn late.

Look at my face and I’m not quite sure

If I’m looking at me or no one at all.

 

And everyday is like the last one.

Nothing changes my mood.

And everything is a linear mess

Waiting for someone like you.

 

Stuck in work, it’s a corporate maze

Nothing seems normal-when I’m stuck in this phase

Thinking of you since minutes ago

I want to be free but I can’t let go.

 

Diogenes was a cynic.

Can’t get him out of my head.

 

Happiness              

           

Far reaching happiness                   

My soul turns away                     

Far reaching – try to grab

Anything.      

For today.

                                               

Searching for empathy – that I try to hold                                                      

A memory of truthfulness- a cloud that never folds.

 

Slip away                  

 

Whisper- softly don’t forget me

Touch my face and never let me                     

Whisper-softly don’t forget me

Touch my face and never let me

Slip away.

 

Everything or nothing ?

 

Water drinking virgins,

Sacrilege of saints.

Vegans not existent

They eat the meat of day.

 

Picasso's drawings blown up

People didn’t care.

They thought that watching TV

Was better then to dare.

 

We’re living just to lie

You get there and you die

Political debates

You watch your life just fade away.

 

Your patronage is appreciated

Is written on the wall.

Money left behind you,

He thought you were a whore 

 

You thought you found your love boat

And you walk up to the shore.

Everybody laughs at you

And you realise you were wrong.

 

Next year's resolution

Is written

Just to change

You wake up in the morning

And you see you are the same

 

Maybe in a century

When men will walk on mars

You'll get your worth

Well thats for sure

But who am I to judge?

 

Traffic 

 

Trapped now in a puddle full of rain-

Will this traffic in my head

Ever go away?

I didn't know exactly where I am

Only that the raindrops keep falling on my head-

 

Every night I wake up crying

Don't you know that god is lying?

(In a bed next to you)

Have you sold you soul today?

Just to buy a taste of happiness.

 

Who were you to tell me who I was?

Never was a time that you were

There at all-

I didn’t know exactly what to say.

Next time that I saw you were not the same.

 

Move to the beat

 

Ringing,

Ringing,

Sounds,

Inside

My head

People talking

People smoking

Never end

 

Is this living?

Is this breathing?

Is this making me a girl?

 

Is this fiction?

Is this me then?

Showing every one my soul…

 

Try me

And you'll see

I've got a small

Sadistic scheme

It'll taste like a lie

But open all the

Purity of life.

 

Never,

Never,

Leaving

Trapped in bed

Dogs are playing

People praying

In my head

 

Am  I feeling?

Am I being?

am I all I can evolve?

 

Am  I fiction?

am I me then?

Can I make my beauty whole?

 

Try me

And you'll see

I've got a small

Sadistic scheme

It'll taste like a lie

But open all the

Purity of life.

 

Desolation Jesus 

 

Desolation Jesus

I thought you were my saint

Fall over backwards

Fall from heavens grace

 

And all day long I sing a song

About everyone

And everything's

O.k.

 

Honest be the blind man

When everyone can see.

I see you hiding

You’re hiding

In the breeze

 

And truth comes from the ones that wait

I wait for you

And then you came

Angel's shoring in the sky

I wait for you.

 

Green Mercedes

Passing café, bars

Photographic smilers

Grinning at my car.

 

And all day long I write your name

In black and blue

It's all the same

Angels soaring in the sky 

I wait for you.

 

Jack Kerouac

 

Tap dripping

From the sink -I-

Think I'm losing all my sleep -I-

Drinking alcohol till midnight

Freshly lit

I lit my cigarette

Drinking, drinking.

 

Hitch-hiking up,

The road is deep and narrowed in the dessert.

Joints, smoking two

Camel straights

Freshly lit

I lit my cigarette.

 

Jack Kerouac

Smoking stranger

From the past.

 

Jack Kerouac

Golden typewriter

Buddha's world.

 

Never mind 

 

Fiction

Resolution

Paranoia

Is just a dream?

Drugged out

Confrontation

Love in sets the scheme

 

And the cars go by so ever slowly

Neon lights are serving god

And the cars drive by so ever slowly

Full moon out it’s a crazy night tonight

 

Reminiscing

Of long time

Candle

Set of flames

World is mesmerised

By insomnia

City crawls like snakes.

 

Blue Hawaii

 

Dead flowers in the alley

War starting up again

Perfume coloured in the background

Now is winter discontent.

 

I thought I knew you

I thought I lost you

But now you suddenly appear

I take the mask out from your bedroom

To hide a face of utter

Fear.

 

Uglier is in the mind

You trapped your soul in war tonight

Drinking red

Bloody wine

I see my self in

Blue Hawaii.

 

I set a mile of road between us

Insomnia has been my friend

Pictures out to show affection

You broke my heart.

It’ll never mend.

 

Now's the time where sun turns blindly

I try to switch off my alarm

He is still my second option

Memories haunt me in the dark.

 

Turning out to sick obsession

Insanity’s door is open wide

Jealousy is taking over

Try and let go but not tonight.

 

Run

 

Kids on drugs in the streets of L.A

Getting high in the massacre parade

Up town boulevard

Angels stoned

-Hollywood movies-Gone-

 

Crucified in Montreal

I runaway

-Alive today-

Saw it all before I was born-

-Hollywood movies-Gone-

 

You never saw me 

I never saw you 

-crying-

Never saw me-

-Hiding-

Never saw yourself in

Heavens hell

You never saw me

Never saw me

-RUN-

 

Days just pass in a blink of an eye

Getting old when I'm only twenty-five

Up town city streets

Children cry-

-Hollywood movies-Gone-

 

Criticised in every way

Runaway alive today

Seen it all before I was four

 -Hollywood movies-Gone-

 

Hanging man

 

They can’t save you

They can’t save you now

Caught the death train

Bound for Satan's crown.

 

Thought that you could runaway

Hide away from all your shame.

All the killings in the tree

Hanging like the bumblebee,

Hanging like cursed lamb,

Hanging like the hanging man.

 

Tell the truth now

Lying like a clown.

Cursing people

Heavens lost its round.

 

Thought that you could save the day

Be a child in every way.

All the killings in the tree

Hanging like the bumblebee,

Hanging like the cursed lamb,

Hanging like the hanging man.

 

Play your life now

Losing by a mile.

Trading memories

To buy another smile.

 

Thought that you could find a way

Stop the killings from the grave.

Nothing looks, as it should seem

Take the killings in the tree

Hanging like the bumblebee,

Hanging like cursed lamb,

Hanging like the hanging man.

 

Summer Sky

 

Sitting-Eating-Smoking-Breathing

Move to the beat

Of the summer sky-

Making up like nothing is nothing 

And something is something. 

 

No one forgets

No one regrets

This is the beat of the summer sky.

 

Relaxing-Enjoying-Drinking-Breathing

Induced by the heat

Of the summer sky.

Seeing that life's what you make it

Nothing can break it. 

 

Sleeping-Kissing-Sweaty-Swimming

Temptations seduced

By the summer sky.

 

Walking-Talking-Living-Dreaming

These are the drugs of the summer sky.

 

Cool

 

Ticket on my car

Money spent on laundry

Try to keep my cool

So I do-So I do - So I do.

 

Hurt my heart and so.

I cry and I choke.

Try to find the point to this endless void

In my life-

 

Try to keep my cool

But I cant say sorry

Try to say goodbye

Never mind

Never mind 

Never mind

 

Cigarette smoking girl 

 

Cigarette smoking girl

Uptown New York City.

Rain pour down

Find somewhere to rest.

Every bodies looking your direction

Kinda weird, but also kind of sad.

 

Writing down your every expectation.

That never comes true

So you through it in the bin.

Angels never see you while they're searching,

For some one to save, and love, and trust.

 

So life ends in nothing but commotion.

So life ends in nothing but a scam.

Thought you found a little admiration

But all you got was a flat with lousy rent.

 

Just for me 

 

I put on my shoes

The ones that you know of

I put on my scarf, a little perfume 

And a rose in my hair.

 

I take all bags

Too late for forgiveness

 

So goodbye to you

Goodbye you fool

And goodbye to love.

 

A little champagne

The one most expensive.

Some caviar,

Some music to match,

And lights in the sky.

 

I'll march to the stage

And sing to the audience,

 

Goodbye to you

Goodbye you fool

And goodbye to love.

 

Crazy

 

Fiction

Resolution

Paranoia

Is just a dream?

Drugged out

Confrontation

Love in sets the scheme.

 

And the cars go by so ever slowly,

Neon lights are serving god.

And the cars drive by so ever slowly,

Full moon out it’s a crazy night tonight.

 

Reminiscing

Of long time.

Candle

Set of flames.

World is mesmerised

By insomnia

City crawls like snakes.

 

Walking

 

I keep walking and walking

The road is ever so long

I keep jumping and jumping

The hurdles are ever so tall

 

Keep looking in every direction

Try to find my way out real fast

Yells coming from every direction

You numb your ears but that never lasts

 

I keep talking and talking

The words are coming out wrong

I keep lying and lying

The truth is always thought wrong

 

Keep searching in every direction

Try to find a place to rest my soul

Cries coming out from every direction

Try to move but I’m stuck like a stone.

 

So I keep walking and walking

Keep walking and walking.

 

Momentary smile

 

Its going to be o.k-right?

Its going to be o.k- right?

The tears will all begin to dry

The rage will all –subside

 

To a momentary smile

To a momentary field of happiness

In this momentary

Momentary life.

 

And then it all begins to slide again

Then it all begins to fall again

Then it all begins to crumble from

But I still hold on.

To a momentary smile

A momentary smile

 

Its going to be fine-right?

Its going to be fine- right?

All this darkness will turn to light

All this hurt will sub-side

 

To a momentary smile

To a momentary joy and happiness

In this momentary

This momentary life

 

And then all the truth turns to lies

And then all my hopes slowly die

And then all my fears turn out right

But I still hold on

To this momentary

To this momentary smile.

 

A bit of jazz

 

Nothing better to do with my time than walk down the street alone in the night…

Till noon- till half past two.

Walking on side walks- cars racing pass

Well the smell of coffee

Couples/ the people are smiling forever

There just smiling together.

 And who are you to tell me that this isn’t real?

To tell me its not a big deal?

To tell me I’m so naïve, and I’m dreaming, and its so revealing to let my self just be me.

 

If this is love

 

It ain’t good when its bad

When I’m sad

All around me madness

 

It ain’t bad when I’m glad

When am mad

All around me talk and talk

On the phone

Call me now –don’t forget to know me

 

Say its true-say its you

Stay forever-don’t ignore me

 

And if this is love

Teach me how to dance it

Stay and catch it

Try it out.

If this is life

Tell me how to play it,

Hold and name it.

Find it out.

 

It’s a lie when we fight

When I cry

All around me madness

 

It’s a game when we play

When we take

All around me scream and shout

On the phone

Call you now – can’t forget to know you

 

Say its fake- say its great

Leave me now, can’t control me.

 

Secret thoughts

 

Can you picture a shadow

Going down in your mind

Lingering solo-

Looking in all –

di-rections

finding your

secret thoughts

 

can you picture my feelings

my invisible hands

tracing your outline

moving in all

di-rections

touching your

secret thoughts

 

and I-

I am swimming –

I am diving

In your hidden-secret body

And I –

I can see right through you

I can see right through

Your hidden- secret eyes

 

Summer

 

I close my eyes-

I dream a little more

I see the sky and I’m flying

I touch your breath-

Its just a little warm

I see the ice-cream falling.

 

And summer summer tastes so good

When your young and free

And misunderstood

And summer summer

Is our new drug of choice

That swims us to our new

Point of view.

I hold my mind-I’m free from all regrets

I see your thoughts are all happy

I feel your skin its only you and me,

I try to be your intention

Alright - 

 

Lost my way again

Don’t know why you wanna/ want to play pretend

Having no regrets

But at least it seems that way-again

 

Don’t know where to go-

Don’t forget to say- I told you so-

Having no real plans

But at least I have my dreams again.

 

And I don’t really know   

I don’t really know where am going

And I don’t really care  

I don’t really care where I’ve been

And I feel alright 

I feel-

Alright

 

Try to find a door

Cant believe I’ve seen this all before

But now I turn the page

And at least it turns my way- again

 

Can I now be true,

To myself or is it too taboo?

Building up the guts to

Tell the world I have no clue-again

 

I am

 

I see somethings some times, that makes me realise who I am.

The never knowing more, the always in control, is who I make believe I am.

The crowding in the streets, the faces make me pleased, and then I fall for it again.

The same appealing view, that always makes me puke, is actually my friend,

Is actually my friend.

 

And never knowing where it ends this road inside my head,

And never knowing where it starts its always black but

I’ll always play pretend.

 

I say somethings some times, that makes me realise who I am

The same obnoxious air, the condescending stare, is who I make believe I am.

The writings on your face, your movement and your grace, and then I fall for it again,

 

The never knowing why – the always try to hide and then I fall for it again.